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[08 Jul 2002|09:55am] |
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In case anyone hasn't figured it out yet my new journal username is lunarxaura feel free to add me to your friends list!
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(1 escaped | alt+ctrl+del)
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[25 May 2002|09:32am] |
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Can somene generate me a new code? I want to get a new journal, but I've already generated the one code I was given for someone, ack. Oh yeah I also got a domain for my page www.lunaraura.com, it's not active yet, I expect it to be up and running tonight sometime.
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(1 escaped | alt+ctrl+del)
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| just words |
[21 May 2002|06:48pm] |
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mood |
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not exactly sure |
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Friday I'm In Love
I don't care if Monday's blue
Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too
Thursday I don't care about you
It's Friday I'm in love
Monday you can fall apart
Tuesday Wednesday break my heart
Thursday doesn't even start
It's Friday I'm in love
Saturday wait
And Sunday always comes too late
But Friday never hesitate...
I don't care if Mondays black
Tuesday Wednesday heart attack
Thursday never looking back
It's Friday I'm in love
Monday you can hold your head
Tuesday Wednesday stay in bed
Or Thursday watch the walls instead
It's Friday I'm in love
Saturday wait
And Sunday always comes too late
But Friday never hesitate...
Dressed up to the eyes
It's a wonderful surprise
To see your shoes and your spirits rise
Throwing out your frown
And just smiling at the sound
And as sleek as a shriek
Spinning round and round
Always take a big bite
It's such a gorgeous sight
To see you eat in the middle of the night
You can never get enough
Enough of this stuff
It's Friday
I'm in love
The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath
Emeralds from mountains thrust towards the sky
Never revealing their depth
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above
I'll be your cryin' shoulder
I'll be love suicide
I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life
Rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed
You're my survival, you're my living proof
My love is alive and not dead
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above
I'll be your cryin' shoulder
I'll be love suicide
I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life
I've dropped out, burned up, fought my way back from the dead
Tuned in, turned on, remembered the things you said
I'll be your cryin' shoulder
I'll be love suicide
I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life
So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from Hell,
Blue skys from pain.
Can you tell a green field
From a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
And did they get you to trade
Your heros for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange
A walk on part in the war
For a lead role in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl,
Year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found?
The same old fears.
Wish you were here.
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| awww.... |
[16 May 2002|08:56pm] |
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Gravity_: ahh... well you can throw yoruself at us too :-) a cute geek girl like you.. i'd go for you if you threw yoursefla t me :) at the very least i'd catch you and hold you for a while
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(1 escaped | alt+ctrl+del)
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[13 May 2002|08:24pm] |
Not Pretty Enough
Am I not pretty enough
Is my heart too broken
Do I cry too much
Am I too outspoken
Don’t I make you laugh
Should I try it harder
Why do you see right through me
I live, I breathe, I let it rain on me
I sleep, I wake, I try hard not to break
I crave, I love, I’ve waited long enough
I try as hard as I can
I laugh, I feel, I make believe it’s real
I fall, I freeze, I pray down on my knees
I hope, I stand, I take it like a man
I try as hard as I can
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[02 May 2002|06:53am] |
DOES ANYONE EVEN READ THIS ANYMORE?
...it sucks i love getting comments in my journal :\
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(4 escaped | alt+ctrl+del)
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| i'm not dead really |
[26 Apr 2002|07:10pm] |
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mood |
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 happy |
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Yeah I've just been around, I keep meaning to update this thing, but I'm either to lazy or I forget, or I just don't have anything to say, I've also noticed that no one really reads this anymore it seems livejournal has turned into high school, if you're not in the popular group or community then no one really pays attention to you, so *shrug* I'll be getting my senior pictures tomorrow if you want to see the proofs go here Also I had my 18th birthday, not that anyone besides my parents and Jon even remembered or even bothered to call me and say happy birthday, hell most of my family still thinks I'm about 16, when I told my Uncle that I got accepted to college he asked me how I got accepted to college 2 years early because he thought i was still a sophomore in high school, yeah that made me feel pretty shitty, and also having my 18th birthday and all i got was my mom throwing 50 bucks at me, I think the best thing that happened to me that day was Jons messages on my cell phone, at least he sounded sincere when he said Happy Birthday, my parents just kind of sounded annoyed. This entry is starting to sound depressing but I'm actually not unhappy I just somehow over teh course of the past couple of months from "I have anything to be happy about" to "I don't have anything to be unhappy about" which has honestly made my life a whole lot easier, it seems like people around me are happier if I'm happy and thats something I love i've noticed that my attitude about a lot of things has changed especially about myself i mean i can't say that i absolutely love every thing about myself or that i'm even satisfied with everything but i'm not unhappy about it. oh and #userfriendly on us.undernet.org is the best place to be a whole chatroom full of nerds! thats my kind of place! hehe oh great i got a windows ME customer on the phone who expierenced a power outage and now can't connect well lets she she has aol and vpn adapters, get rid of them still doesn't work, is getting error 666 device isn't responding call Gateway see ya i'm addicted to this game on yahoo called collapse it's fun and i'm good at it i had a score of over 200,000 i also like prymaids and whats taht other one oh yeah mah jong solitaire i had chineese food for dinner yum oh yah i'm at work by the way don't want anyone to be confused about that whole winME customer thing, I think I should just start deleting all my entries besides this one and start fresh I really don't like some of the things I said in some of those entries but anyway i'm going to go back to playing games i mean working yeah thats it hehe
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| Champagne Supernova |
[16 Apr 2002|06:00pm] |
How many special people change
How many lives are living strange
Where were you when we were getting high?
Slowly walking down the hall
Faster than a cannon ball
Where were you while we were getting high?
Some day you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova in the sky
Some day you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova
A champagne supernova in the sky
Wake up the dawn and ask her why
A dreamer dreams she never dies
Wipe that tear away now from your eye
Slowly walking down the hall
Faster than a cannon ball
Where were you when we were getting high?
Some day you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova in the sky
Some day you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova
A champagne supernova in the sky
Cos people believe that they're
Gonna get away for the summer
But you and I, we live and die
The world's still spinning round
We don't know why
Why, why, why, why
How many special people change
How many lives are living strange
Where were you when we were getting high?
Slowly walking down the hall
Faster than a cannon ball
Where were you while we were getting high?
Some day you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova in the sky
Some day you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova
A champagne supernova in the sky
Cos people believe that they're
Gonna get away for the summer
But you and I, we live and die
The world's still spinning round
We don't know why
Why, why, why, why
How many special people change
How many lives are living strange
Where were you when we were getting high?
We were getting high
We were getting high
We were getting high
We were getting high
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[21 Mar 2002|05:56pm] |
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It's really windy outside, it's kind of peaceful to watch the trees and leaves blowing around, I kind of hope it starts raining again, it's really peaceful, and with as full of anger as I've been lately I need something peaceful. I was really sick lastnight and today, not sure what brought it on, it just sort of hit me around 1 a.m. I stayed home from school but stupidly I came to work, should have stayed home, but I have a car payment, car insurance, and a cell phone bill that needs to be taken care of. I like my car, I thought it would make me happy like I was before, it didn't. I thought maybe I'd feel at least a little happier, but I don't. I don't even think it's about Jon anymore. I think it's about me. And the fact that every single close relationship I've had with anyone has failed, and it's really hard to believe that there's nothing wrong with me. I've had so many failed relationships that it's pathetic, things with Amanda, Amber, Deanna, Teo, and now Jon, these things don't just happen, they don't just happen with anyone on a regular basis, I'm starting to think there has to be something wrong with me. Maybe it's my attitude maybe I'm not nice enough, hell I don't know what it is anymore. Sometimes I just think if I were prettier that none of this would happen that maybe if I was worth having as a friend or anything that maybe people would be a little more tolerant of me. Like with Jon, maybe if I were skinnier, he wouldn't have jumped to conclusions about things, or maybe he would have talked things out with me first before making a decision, hell I don't know. I just hate how I'm feeling. I've never been this unhappy before. Maybe it's just because I really do hate myself right now. I feel like I've screwed everything up, and I feel so lonely, and I can only blame that on myself. Maybe I'm being too hard on myself I don't really know, but either way, this is how I feel. Well there's tons more I would like to get off my chest, but we're starting to get a little busy.
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(1 escaped | alt+ctrl+del)
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[14 Mar 2002|06:47am] |
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He doesn't want me anymore nor will he ever again, why can't I stop torturing myself and get that through my stupid little head
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[08 Mar 2002|11:24pm] |
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DISCLAIMER: I use this journal as a means to basicly blow off steam. If I'm upset about something I come in here and say all the mean and hurtful and anger filled things that I would probably have normally said directly to someone and probably hurt them. I'm sorry if someone comes in here and takes what I say to heart, I don't mean for that to happen. I can't think of anyone that I'd want call up and say these things to and take them out on them, I think that it would be a horrible thing for me to do. The entry below this one is one of those entries, it was typed in the heat of the moment when I was so angry that I wasn't thinking straight, it's basicly a couple weeks of pent up anger all released into words in a journal, and Jon I'd like to apolgize that I made that public, had I been thinking straight to begin with I probably wouldn't have typed it and if I did I would have made it private so only I could view it, and most of my emotional entries like that I do make them completely private, I just wasn't thinking straight with that one and I didn't, and I apologize.
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fearinmotion's journal
